Hofbräu Dunkel @ Der Metz

Are German beers girly?

Yes.

Google image search for 'Germans drinking beer' and just try to find an image of a man drinking it. Seems to be a purely girly-pursuit in the hinterland - must be a cultural thing.

Hofbräu Dunkel is a beer from Munich. Did you know Munich's motto is "München mag Dich" - "Munich likes you". That's adorable, right? 

Dunkel means dark - there is also a regular, lagery version of HB. The waitress told us HB is the drink of Oktoberfest - but our German contact tells us it's only the drink of Oktoberfest for naive tourists. 

Anyway, it was still a good offering. Yeasty and surprisingly fruity. Great consistency and not too fizzy. However, halfway through their glasses, everyone observed (in true girly fashion) that they probably wouldn't want it again - it was a bit too yeasty and all up in our faces. But then - BUT THEN - we ate some amazing fatty, salty chips and the beer really came into its own. Salt + HB Dunkel = German innovation. We were quaffing it back like nobody's business once the chips came into play.

$13 for 500ml

Value 3/5 (aren't tap beers supposed to be cheaper?)

Taste 4/5 (chips recommended)

Overall 3.5/5

Jinro Soju

Soju or 'Jinro' as everyone seems to call it, is a strange beverage sorta like vodka or gin, but sweet enough to drink neat because it doesn't taste anywhere near as bad as vodka or gin

Jinro is usually on special at liquor stores and when it's not, it should be moderately cheap any way

I recommend only drinking it after beer because it tasted horrible after the Fanta-ish Cindy's

I also recommend drinking it once you are slightly drunk already because even though it is better tasting than vodka or gin, it is still not exactly nice

Value 4/5
Taste 3/5
Overall 4/5

Update I found a large bottle of Jinro at the liquor store the other day for only $18. The one near Gull. That's value.

Cindy's Screwdriver

Cindy's Screwdriver is an 'rtd' or 'bitch drink' which tastes like Fanta and vodka minus the vodka, so Fanta with an 8% alcohol content

I cannot endorse such 'rtds' or 'bitch drinks' as their purpose seems to be getting women with low self esteem black out drunk on Fanta. I believe even the label is designed to look like a soft drink rather than an alcoholic beverage, meaning Cindy's target demographic seems to be under-age women and/or those who are drunk in public and/or those who are hiding Cindy's under their beds or in their backpacks

That said, this blog is called girlie dudes for a reason, and I would drink these every day if it weren't for the sugar content. I don't want to get man boobs

Price 5/5
Taste 3/5
Man boob potential 5/5
Overall 1/5

New Zealand Lager

The mother of shit beers, New Zealand Lager. The fern logo is so ridiculously Kiwi I can't help but think of things like this

And so on

But the beer... More full-flavoured than I was expecting from such a cheap beer (VB being the only beer I've found so far which fulfils that promise), but I would not recommend it when there are better alternatives- Waikato or VB within the same price range

The giant can is a nice idea but beer still tastes bad out of a can

Value 4/5
Taste 3/5
Overall 3.5/5

Suspension Bridge Loop @ Hunua

Fuckin suspension bridge, right? It all starts at this thing

Which is apparently a suspension bridge

Which sucks 'cause you'd think the huge suspension bridge would be at the end of the walk as a sort of pay off. I ain't mad though. It's all hills and bush for a while which sucks but then the pay off is this

The Wairoa Dam is like beautiful lake + Half Life 2 or some shit. Although all dams probably fit that description

I would not swim in it 'cause it was kinda spooky or something, and this thing creeped me out

Fuckin danger sign and shit... I didn't use the public toilet because I was dehydrated and did not want to share bottles with anyone and so did not need to piss at any point during the walk. It looks clean from the outside though

I think the bridge should've come at the end or just been way better and also I thought I was lost 'cause I did not trust the loop of the track name

Still, recommended for that dam view

Kaiaua Fisheries @ Kaiaua

The last time I went to Kaiaua for fish and chips, I fell of the back of my dad's motorbike and my smiley satin boxer shorts melted to my arse and I got scars on my back and on my knee, but if he had said wanna go back next week I probably would have said yes because the food there was so good. Kaiaua Fisheries taught me about crispy bits. I long for crispy bits in my fish and chips thanks to Kaiaua Fisheries. Kaiaua Fisheries taught me about Gurnard and Snapper and turned me off Tarakihi because it gets so much drier when it's deep fried. I loved the place even though I had to go to the doctors regularly so she could peel the smileys from my arse with tweezers.

Nostalgia is a bitch. That was 12 years ago and either the place has gone downhill, or fond memories made it so it could never live up to what I remember it to be. The food was soggy and lukewarm and the milkshake had foam and so caused indigestion

But the ambience is still fantastic. I dig the carpark/seating vibe

And yeah that's a cat and cats rule

And the surrounding views are beautiful

And fuck the Bay View Hotel for not being open. Beer would've been mean with some average fish and chips and lovely views

Pepper steak pie @ Kaiwaka

Mark Ottaway's pies are allegedly the pride of Kaiwaka along with the cheese shop, possibly because the area is most known for the 170 deaths Ngāpuhi and Ngāti Whātua during the Musket Wars in 1825